May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
