found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
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What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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