but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
