My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
