Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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