When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
