did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
