She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
did i just pee glitter
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