If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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