my mouth tastes like poor choices
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize