i wish starbucks made bloody marys
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
