God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
