the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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