a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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