forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
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It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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