C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize