My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
where am i from again
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
