4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
