just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize