we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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