i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
