I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
