i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
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When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
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I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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