my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
