yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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