she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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