No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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