About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
