I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
