just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
