just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
