I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
