A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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