Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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