watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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