and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
