I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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