there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
