I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
