**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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