I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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