forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i drank out of a bidet.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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