Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
