Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So much rum. So many feels.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
