Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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