Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize