last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize