I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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