The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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