I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
