I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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