So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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