so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
