i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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